How to Deal with Narcissistic Family Members During Pregnancy: Protecting Your Peace and Well-being
Pregnancy is a special time in a woman’s life filled with excitement and beautiful changes, but it can also bring challenges—especially when dealing with toxic family members. Navigating these dynamics can feel overwhelming, but maintaining your peace and well-being is essential for both you and your little one. Here are real life examples coupled with strategies and tips for how I manage interacting with narcissistic family members during pregnancy while protecting your emotional health. Disclaimer: All names and identifying details have been changed.
1. Prioritize Self-Care
Pregnancy is both physically and emotionally demanding, so prioritizing self-care is definitely key. Pregnancy requires you to conserve your energy for yourself and your baby, but how do you thrive in doing that when narcissistic family members live to drain your energy? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians14:33, “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” But we all know toxic people go out of their way to cause chaos and confusion to purposefully antagonize you and get a negative reaction from you which can take a toll on your peace.
REAL LIFE SCENARIOS & EXAMPLE: Narcissists are often undiagnosed and will never admit that they are in fact a narcissist. They lack the ability or willingness to understand why you would say no to an event or decline being in an environment that is not conducive to your mental health. I’ve concluded that this is why they continue to invite you to events and attempt to force you to be around individuals they are aware you find toxic. There are some events I used to feel guilty about not attending, but since taking my mental health journey more seriously, I no longer “regretfully decline”. No means no. There’s some family members’ homes I can count on one hand how many times I visited and others I don’t visit at all.
TIP: Set boundaries on your availability and energy. Remember, saying “no” or taking time for yourself is not selfish—it’s self-preservation. I became very adamant about distancing myself or going complete “no-contact” with every narcissist in my life. When they are relentless with their tactics or there’s a day you feel overwhelmed, set aside “me time” each day, whether it’s a short walk, reading, journaling or simply resting. Surround yourself with supportive people and activities that uplift you and leave you feeling recharged.
2. Set Boundaries on Sensitive Topics
Pregnancy often invites unwelcome questions or advice, especially from toxic family members. Comments about your body, parenting plans, or lifestyle choices can feel invasive and emotionally draining. Handling unsolicited advice during pregnancy can be challenging, mainly when everyone seems to have an opinion on what’s best for you and your baby. It’s essential to remember that most people genuinely want to help, but setting boundaries can protect your peace and confidence—especially when the family member is being purposefully intrusive. A simple response like, “Thank you for your concern; I’ll keep that in mind” acknowledges their input without committing to it. Listening politely, then choosing what resonates with you, can help maintain harmony while staying true to your own values and instincts. Remember, each pregnancy is unique, and trusting yourself and walking with God is key to navigating this special time with confidence and calmness.
REAL LIFE SCENARIOS & EXAMPLE: In true narcissist fashion, Rose loves to create confusion, be judgmental, and control others. Rose has a very high sense of self and believes when it comes to advice, wisdom, blessings, and help, they come from her and through her. She believes she has the best input and knows what’s best for everyone in any circumstance (a true “god-complex” like individual). Rose constantly asked invasive questions whenever she received the chance. It seemed to be her mission to make comments that clearly proved she believed she had a say-so in the governing, raising, parenting, and nurturing of my child. Making statements like suggesting the school my unborn child should attend, suggesting arrangements for the nursery, assuming she is getting babysitting rights, and asking about corporate punishment, breastfeeding, and birth plans. So, what did I do about this? Here’s a tip!
TIP: Decide ahead of time which topics you consider off-limits. If a family member brings up a sensitive subject, calmly say, “I’d prefer not to discuss that.” Practice responses to politely redirect conversations, and don’t feel pressured to explain or justify your choices. Of course, Rose gave great push-back when boundaries were politely and respectfully placed. I feel this is a telltale sign of toxicity. But don’t let it get to you! Deciding what is best for you should never render a negative or angry response from those who truly love and respect you. These individuals are not healthy, but you can never allow their unhealed issues to destroy the healed versions of you!
3. Limit Emotional Exposure
Narcissists often use others' desires and dreams as tools for manipulation, pretending to support and respect them while subtly undermining confidence or creating obstacles. By gathering details about your child, confidential information about your pregnancy, or sensitive details regarding your life’s plan they gain leverage, often using this information to control or belittle you if it suits their interests. They tend to offer false encouragement about your parenting styles and pregnancy journey only to later criticize or sabotage your progress to keep you dependent on their approval. This exploitation of your aspirations allows them to maintain power and control, feeding their own need for superiority while diminishing your confidence in navigating your pregnancy with peace. Limiting interactions with toxic family members isn’t just beneficial for you—it’s beneficial for your baby too. The stress and tension that comes from difficult family dynamics can impact your mood and, in turn, your baby’s development. One thing I’ve always said is what the enemy doesn’t know, they can’t attack. That’s why narcissists are always yearning for information and knowledge —about your romantic relationships, friendships, life plans and dreams, baby, etc.
Well, you change how you respond and communicate with them going forward.
REAL LIFE SCENARIOS & EXAMPLE: Michael always pries and tries to get information out of me and my spouse regarding various topics they know are sensitive and private to us. Asking things pertaining to a new home, what These questions aren’t from a genuine place. They are only being asked so Michael can gauge how much access he will have to our growing family going forwards. It’s only to monitor how much control he is losing over our plans, minds, household, finances, and emotions and how much control he seeks to have over our child. The narcissist knows that adjusting our proximity to them can very much dictate the peace we have in our lives. Though they act oblivious to this, narcissists can sense when you are purposefully concise, brief, and withholding information for the sake of your mental peace. Michael will try to discuss plans we have for the child, dreams we have for our family going forward, and traditions we want to instill in our own home. The more a narcissist knows about your plans for your child, God’s purpose for your life, your home, or the new traditions you want to start with your own child, the more they will retaliate and attack you. For them, more knowledge means more ammunition and less knowledge means less control. So, you ask, what if I’ve put my foot down? What if I’ve reiterated my boundaries countless times? All the boundaries are set, but they keep snooping! What do I do?!
TIP: Be very short and concise in your text communications and phone calls with your toxic family members. Continue to let them know where the line is and create a consequence when your boundary line is crossed. A disrespected boundary without a consequence is only a preference. You have to show Michael that his constant meddling will not be tolerated. Begin to limit the information you’re even willing to discuss with the narcissist. When a narcissist pries into your life or oversteps boundaries, staying calm and direct can help reaffirm your boundaries without giving them further emotional leverage. Here are a few verbal responses:
“I appreciate your interest, but this is something I’d like to keep private.” - This lets them know you're not open to sharing without being confrontational.
“Thank you for your concern, but I have it under control.” - This statement conveys confidence in your own decisions and boundaries.
“I’m not comfortable discussing that right now.” - This direct statement is polite but firm and leaves little room for argument.
“This is a personal matter, and I’d like to keep it between myself and my family.” - This makes clear that some matters aren’t open for discussion.
“I’ll let you know if I need any advice on this.” - This approach subtly implies that you don’t need input unless you explicitly ask for it.
Responding with calm assertiveness and consistency helps enforce your boundaries and signals that you're in control of your choices, making it harder for them to breach those limits.
Protecting your peace during pregnancy, especially around narcissistic family members, is essential to your well-being and that of your child. By setting and reinforcing clear boundaries, choosing carefully what you share, and limiting time with those who drain your energy, you can create a supportive environment that nurtures both you and your baby. Remember, this is a unique journey meant to bring joy and growth, and you deserve to experience it without unnecessary stress or manipulation. Prioritizing yourself now lays a strong foundation for protecting your family’s peace in the future!
Empowering you to approach motherhood with confidence and strength.
Until next time mommas
XO, Ashley
